“She never sought help, never worked on any of her stuff. “The louder it would sound when it broke, the more likely she was to throw that object.” She gives a small laugh. She would throw McCurdy’s father out and make him sleep in the car, scream at them or throw something. She did a pretty good job of portraying that she and I were best friends, and that we were inseparable.” At home, she says, her grandparents and father would plead with her to get help. What about other adults around her – her grandparents, father, people at church? Couldn’t they see how harmful Debra was? “My mom seemed hellbent on keeping up appearances. “It was one of my earliest memories of registering what I couldn’t identify then as dysfunction, of ‘my family’s operating on a different frequency’.” I didn’t have school friends, and then in acting, a lot of the moms can be competitive so they don’t necessarily want the daughters talking to one another.” When Debra signed McCurdy up for dance classes (14 a week to improve her chances), she did make a friend and got the chance to see another type of home life. “I considered myself a second-rate Mormon, I wasn’t as good at being Mormon as the others. “I did feel like an outsider, there was layer on layer of shelter,” she says – being home-schooled, being Mormon, being a child actor and working in a world of adults.
McCurdy was home-schooled and had no friends, which meant she didn’t realise until later how dysfunctional her home life was.
Added to this, the possibility that the cancer might return hung over the family. Debra’s moods and behaviour were erratic and everyone was frightened of upsetting her. They didn’t have much money: her father worked for a kitchen design company, and her mother sometimes worked shifts at Target, although her main job, McCurdy writes, was “ensuring I make it in Hollywood”. McCurdy grew up in Garden Grove, a small city in California, with her parents, grandparents and three older brothers in a Mormon family. “ I absolutely think there are a lot of harsh realities to child and teen stardom.” “I try to talk about everything from a personal point of view something more systemic,” says McCurdy. Last month Alexa Nikolas, another former child actor, took part in a protest outside Nickelodeon’s studio in California, claiming that child performers “were not safe” on shows made by the channel. There’s a general feeling that it isn’t a healthy place for young people working out who they are.
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If her mother’s behaviour reads as abhorrent, then the world of children’s TV doesn’t come across much better, with child stars having to cope with maniacal showrunners and gruelling auditions. Jennette McCurdy with her iCarly co-star Miranda Cosgrove in 2007. Debra would even wash McCurdy in the shower until she was 16, and touch her vagina and breasts (Debra had been diagnosed with breast cancer when McCurdy was two, and said she was checking for lumps), and shave her legs. Every aspect of McCurdy’s life was micromanaged, from who she was allowed to see to what she ate the restricted diet led to eating disorders. Since McCurdy was six years old, Debra had shaped and controlled her, turning McCurdy into a successful actor she was on the hit show iCarly, on the US children’s channel Nickelodeon, and its spin-off Sam & Cat. McCurdy is a child star who walked away from her career in her early 20s, something she could only do because of her mother’s death. “But not recognising: ‘Mom, I don’t know if people are loving you, exactly.’” “She’d be like: ‘My name’s on a No 1 New York Times bestseller!’” says McCurdy, laughing.
Never mind that the title of her daughter’s memoir is the brilliantly punchy I’m Glad My Mom Died, or that it details Debra’s controlling and abusive ways. What you receive may not be what is reflected on site.I n a strange sort of way Jennette McCurdy’s mother, Debra, is getting what she’d always dreamed of: fame. Read all product labeling and instructions completely. Do not use with any after shave containing alcohol. Wait 36 hours after using razor, shaving product or depilatory.
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